Archives

Period cramps…

Period…

Being a girl is hard.
Having to bleed once a month is even harder.

The cramps that come and tie knots in your stomach make you feel like you have daggers piercing through your skin. It’s like getting shot. The pain is so bad that you feel like your abdomen is about to rupture and you’ll die if the pain does not stop. And it doesn’t. It gets worse.

Along with the cramps you get that nerve wrenching headache that pounds and makes you think you have a crushed skull. It’s like someone has taken an expandable elastic and has tied it around your head- stopping all the blood from flowing through your brain.

The loss of appetite and the gaining of appetite the very next moment makes your insides churn. Am I eating because I’m hungry or am I eating because I’m in pain? Either way, it’s terrifying. The bloated stomach. The leg pain. The back pain. The chest pain. Pain, in general, is magnified a hundred percent. That tiny paper cut I got last year is throbbing and I’m sitting here crying because it hurt really bad twelve months ago.

The mood swings. Wanting to die at one moment and then feeling like Adele the very next. Feeling sad over a text message and then laughing about it the next hour, and then crying over it again the next day.

The worst part of all this is having to be picky about what you wear. I can’t wear that… it’s too light…What if an accident happens and I look like I just ran away from a murder scene. Imagine having to explain that to someone. Honestly, I’d rather confess to the murder.

Sweats and an oversized hoodie seem safe. They’re always safe for every occasion. Don’t feel like changing. BAM throw on a hoodie. On your period, strap on a hoodie.

The thought process behind it takes so much energy that you lose brain cells while losing blood cells. Literally. And I don’t have many of either.

Maybe I’m exaggerating. Maybe I can’t compare period cramps to being shot because I’ve never been shot. Maybe I’m annoyed by the fact that I can’t explain to people (ahem men) how bad it can get sometimes. Imagine sitting in physics class, minding your own business, taking down notes on quantum mechanics when a throbbing headache rips through followed by a wave of cramps. Forget about Quantum mechanics, in that state you forget how to add.

Now the pulverizing thoughts that swirl through your mind. Do I have a pad/tampon? What if I don’t? Maybe I’m hallucinating. Where am I gonna get a pad from?

And no, I don’t become a savage beast like the wolves do in fantasy movies when the full moon rises. I become worse. Stay fifteen feet away from me before I chew off your head and eat it raw. I’m joking. Yes, I get irritated and annoyed, but after a few hours, I return to my natural form. (Now my natural form is a mess and that’s a different story).

But having cramps is not fun. If your mom or sister or wife or friend is having cramps. Leave her alone… trust me you’ll be doing her a favor. Or you can be nice and get them hot chocolate or coffee (or maybe a ticket to the Maldives) and just ask, ‘if there is anything you can do to make things better.’ Trust me words have more power in them than actions do.

Advertisements

Monster Monster in the Mirror…

Break down your façades
your masks are slithering off
enough with all these covers
show me who you are.

Why are you running away from me?
Where will you hide?
Tell me what I need to know
I’m sick of all your lies.

Release me from yourself
I am no longer yours to keep
your form is changing again
you savage, ferocious beast.

Foolish girl.
Impatient child.

I am another image of you
trapped behind this glass prison
before pointing your fingers at me
remove the dirt from your vision.

You’re living in deception
there’s so much you don’t see
you’re the one who’s hiding
confiding yourself in me.

Why don’t you look a little closer?
and you will see it too
I am nothing but your reflection
shying away from you.

You’re transforming, look at yourself
and you will see it clearer
the monster you’re attacking
is showing you the mirror.

You’re not a beauty
darkness is smothered on your face
there’s venom in your touch
you’re nothing but a disgrace.

Cover your eyes, go ahead, block me
but there’s nothing you can do
how many layers will you wear?
I’m the monster hiding in you.

Monster Monster in the mirror

You can read and download my poetry and Sci-fi book for free for a limited time
Sci-fi book: The City of Saints
Poetry Book: Curing My Venom