Category Archives: Poetry

I’m drowning

Sometimes I get scared
and I don’t know why
but I want you to embrace me
and tell me it’s alright.

Because I trust you
more than I believe in myself
maybe because you become an anchor
when I’m crying for help.

Just don’t ever let me go
or the pieces joining me will shatter
tell me I am important
because I feel like I don’t matter.

I need you to praise me
and tell me what I am worth
because my mind is in chaos
and I feel like a curse.

Please don’t say anything
that will bring me down
because in this cruel sea
you’re the reason I haven’t yet drowned.

I’m not drowning. I think?

Poetry book: Curing My Venom
Read it for free on booksprout (limited time)

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A war between hope and despair

I opened my mouth, but I couldn’t speak.
“I understand,” she said kissing my cheek. “You don’t have to say a word. I know what is going on inside of you. The demons are stronger and they’re breaking through. You’re cracking because you’re losing your faith, but the sky is rumbling it’s calling your name. I know you’re afraid because you don’t know how to fly. Those voices in your head are making you cry. You’re breaking; I can see it through your chest. That organ pumping blood in your body won’t let you rest. I can feel the beat echo through my ears. You want to speak, but you’re afraid no one will hear. It’s getting dark inside; I can see your heart. You’re aching, your soul is ripping apart.”

She gently came and wrapped me in a warm cocoon. “Just swallow these pills, everything will be okay soon. You want to meet God and ask about all this. Death will be gentle, he’ll just give you a kiss. Everything will be over. You won’t have to fight. At the end of the tunnel, you’ll see a ray of light. No more panic attacks, no more fears. No more anxiety. No more tears. It’ll be over, and you won’t have to play pretend. It’s okay my love, everything will come to an end.”

I looked at her beautiful face, and then at those pills, she clenched in her fist. I didn’t want to die, but I was afraid to live. I had nothing to lose and nothing to give. I was dead inside, but my heart was still beating. I was losing and falling what was the point of breathing. Everything in life was a burden, what was the point of dying every day. Wouldn’t it be better to end it all today?

I extended my hand as I wrapped those pills in between my sleeves. I was tired of hoping. I was tired of those dreams. Maybe she was right, life would be better if I wasn’t even alive. I was tired of falling and sinking so low. If I was gone, no one would notice and maybe no one would know.

“No,” Hope said with a tattered voice as he stood in front of me blocking my view. “I know your hurting, but you have to pull through. This is your life and it’s your choice. Love how can you give up so easily when the war has just begun. You’re pulling your curtains just because you can’t see the sun. The clouds are heavy, I can feel the thunder. But you are a warrior and warriors don’t surrender. The ground is bleeding, and I can sense the blood. But darling how will you taste victory if you can’t embrace the mud. Things are hard, and they will get harder, but you mustn’t back down. If you leave the battlefield, you’ll lose your crown.

“But I’m tired of fighting. I’m tired of bleeding. I’m tired of everything. I can’t take it anymore. I’ve lost all my battles and now I’m losing this war. I quit. I’m sinking to my knees. Go give hope to someone stronger and better than me. You don’t understand. These demons in my head won’t leave me alone. They’ve carved their way and now they’re making a home. These thoughts I’m running away from, say things would be better if I was gone. I don’t see my road or any reason to carry on. Look…others are better off than me. They’re climbing mountains while I can’t even stand on my feet. I’m sinking in this ground and I can’t seem to ascend. No matter what road I choose it brings me to a dead end. I don’t even know what I’m fighting for. I quit. I can’t do this anymore.

Hope gently knelt by my side. He lifted my head and said, “I know there are explosions erupting inside. I know you’re scared, and you’re afraid to fall. But you can’t rise if you don’t learn how to crawl. I know giving up seems easy because you can’t take the ache, but how will you reform if you don’t break? Without all this dirt on your skin, how will your journey ever begin? The dark clouds looming above your head will part someday and you’ll see the blue sky. Keep holding on. I promise you’ll get by. I know all you see is darkness, and the road ahead is filled with thorns. Your destination looks empty and your bridges are torn. You can’t open your windows, and there is a seal on your door. I know you can’t walk; your legs are sore. But you must try again and again; knock on every wall, whenever you can. So darling, throw those pills away, you’ve clenched so tight. If you want to see the sun, you’ll have to pass through this night. If you want to win this war, you’ll have to keep your head held up high. So darling, pick yourself up because no one will come and do it for you. If you had the courage to fight, then you should have the courage to pull through. Don’t you dare let those thoughts crawl into your mind? There will always be hope, just look inside.

Poetry book out now- Curing My Venom

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Please don’t be Muslim!

Another shooting …

‘Please don’t be Muslim’
the thought echoes in my mind
the man was white
but Muslims in a mosque have died.
For a moment there’s relief
at least people won’t blame hijabs and beards
at least when I walk down the street
I won’t be feared.

But as the thought sinks in
and I go through the news
the shooter wasn’t a terrorist
but an angelic soul who was lost
and didn’t know what to do.
He had a troubled past
and more excuses will be thrown
Muslims are an issue
let’s finish this problem
by using guns and drones.

I hate myself for thanking God
that the shooter wasn’t someone of my kind
but why should it matter who killed
because at the end innocent people have died.

As a Muslim, I’m not only a danger
but now I’m in danger as well
why fear the universe
when the world has become a living hell?

Because of a few
we all have to pay a price
if I could take off my skin and my ethnicity
I promise I wouldn’t think twice.

Maybe if I was a few shades lighter
or maybe if I altered the way I dress
the world would be accepting
and I wouldn’t be oppressed.

At first, I was scared of walking down the street
because I was afraid people would blame me for the bloodshed
now I’m terrified someone would come
and shoot me because of this thing I’m wearing on my head

We’ve closed our borders
our hearts and now our eyes
we’re offended by brand names
by celebrities
but not when someone dies.

Those people in that mosque
in that school
in that church
in that club
in that train
in that state
they all died because of someone else’s hate.

I’m not disappointed
none of us are
we’ve become immune to all this fuss
in a few days
we’ll forget everything that’s happening around us.

We’ll morn for a few days
and we’ll walk and crowd the streets
Then after a few months
we’ll watch this vicious cycle repeat.

But why should it matter if someone is
Hindu,
Sikh,
Christian,
Buddhist,
Muslim
or Jew
why can’t we just exist
without dividing the world
between me and you

‘We need stricter gun laws
regulations
marches
and prayers to solve this issue.
but maybe….
a little Humanity would do the job too.

Why you and why not me?

Why you and why not me?
Why?

Because you have Eden
flowing from the tips of your fingers
and I have nothing but despair.

You have the stars lightening your way
in a galaxy breeding with night
and I have nothing but darkness.

You have flowers blooming
from all your wounds
and I have nothing but bundles of pain.

You have showers of love
dripping on you from above
and I am aching for a salve.

You have a beautiful journey
with roads sprinkled in roses
and I have pathways littered with thorns.

You have everything
and I have nothing

Why?
Why you and why not me?

Picture from Pexels

Poetry book out ‘Curing my Venom

But I am not God!

But I am not God!

I know, but you can be the answer
to someone else’s call
you can be the net
to someone else’s fall.

You can be the shade
to someone else’s rain
and you can be the salve
to someone else’s pain.

You don’t need to be a superhero
to wipe away a tear
you can be the courage
to someone else’s fear.

Look my love
in a world where you can be anything
I ask you to be strong
put down your ego
and for once be the melody
to someone else’s song.

I know you don’t have powers
but you must save yourself too
because only then will you help
someone else get through
you don’t need to be powerful
to help another soul
but if you can
then I ask you to be someone else’s cure.

Be kind, my love
Poetry book coming soon…
‘Curing My Venom’

Photo by A.R. T from Pexels