Category Archives: Blog

Where are your dreams?

Why is there emptiness
in your muffled cries?
Where are the dreams
I once saw in your eyes?

Why are you suffocating
pull yourself through
how can you give up
what did you just do?

I didn’t do anything
I thought I did my best
the road I once walked on
slipped from beneath my steps.

I strayed from my path
and I fell to my knees
I thought I lost my trail
but my own path gave up on me.

Maybe the road you took
wasn’t yours to take
if you dared to dream
then don’t you dare break!

Create your own path
and hold the reigns of your road
don’t give up now
when you have a long way to go.

Where are your dreams?

Poetry book: Curing My Venom
Sci fi book: The City of Saints (free for a limited time)

For someone special…

Leave the scent of your soul behind
I’ll follow it to get to you.

But don’t go too far
what if in search of you
I lose myself too.

Just stay close to me
hold my hand and help me rise
but don’t look at me like that
I’ll lose myself in your eyes

I don’t need a map
but a promise that you’ll always stay
how can I ever lose my road back home
when you’ve become my way?

I don’t need the sky
or the twinkling stars
because every path and journey I take
lead me back to where you are

You have a smile worth a thousand suns
and a glint of hazel beauty in your eyes
you have arms as wide as the horizon
and a soul as pure as the sky.

I wrote this for someone special. Someone who’s voice makes me smile. Someone who has beauty dripping from their soul. Someone who said I remind them of a joke….

Happy birthday same-same….

The sky will kneel for you

I know you’re not traveling
on the road you wanted to take
and I know you’re very scared
but I need you to be brave.

Maybe this new journey has to tell you
what you’re fighting for
maybe it has to show you
that you’re worth so much more.

Don’t ever feel guilty
of how things were supposed to be
you have so much to learn
so embrace this new journey.

I know it’s not easy
because your victory is high
but why are you complaining
when you were born to be the sky?

The sky will kneel for you
Poetry book, “Curing My Venom

When anxiety changes into depression

Anxiety is that odd feeling that grabs you by the throat and suffocates you to the point where you wheeze for air. No matter how hard you inhale you can’t seem to get anything inside of your lungs. It’s a feeling that constantly makes you worry. It nibbles on your insecurities and makes you lose your mind. You become tired and restless and your heart starts thrashing in your ribcage and you start sweating like crazy. All the energy you had in your body leaves you, making you feel so tired that you can’t even move. A deep slicing headache takes a hold of you. The pain is so bad that you’re willing to swallow as many pills as you can to make it go away.

The anxiety slowly leaves, and depression fills the void. Everything that once held meaning loses its purpose. Faith that once kept you in one peace starts to suffocate you, making you run around, gasping for air. You sit in one place like a statue staring into space because the wars in your mind are damaging you. You can’t fight the world because you’re losing a war with yourself. You lose faith and then slowly you lose every part of you that makes you human. All you want to do is lie down, curl into a ball, cover yourself and sleep. But even sleep gives up on you and you lay awake, trying to hold onto whatever excuse you can find to keep going.

Things that once made you happy, don’t bring a smile to your face anymore. Even the simplest tasks, like making breakfast seem like a burden. Getting out of bed seems useless.

Thoughts roam around in your mind, making you question the validity of your existence. You lose hope and at that moment everything just seems useless. That soft voice telling you to end it all takes over and you find yourself smiling to that thought. It brings an odd comfort.

Depression or anxiety is not easy to deal with. It’s like you’re drowning in an ocean and everyone else is drowning with you, but they can breathe, and you can’t. It’s like everything is on fire and no one seems hurt but you. It’s like everyone else is living in a parallel universe and no matter what you do, you can’t seem to escape.

Everyone has their way of dealing with anxiety. I write. I wrote a freaking poetry book to deal with my mental health. Curing my Venom. It’s based on the five stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But no matter what stage I’m on, I can’t seem to move on to acceptance. I always get dragged back. I don’t know what’s holding me, but I do know I have chains as thick as iron grasping my arms. And I’m suffocating.

Be gentle with people who have anxiety and depression or any other mental illness. They’re too busy fighting the demons in their minds that they can’t seem to fight you. Give them assurance. Constant assurance that things will be okay because sometimes the demons in their mind are so loud that they can’t hear you over the ruckus in their brain.