Do you still want me?

I despise myself
what about you
I’m very hard to love
maybe you should leave me too.

I am not special
so please don’t praise me like that
or else I’ll fall in love
with myself all over again.

How do you not see these scars
and this imperfect flesh?
Why would anyone love me
when I’m an ugly mess?

I am not a beauty nor a queen
but a broken, ugly creature.
It’s okay if you don’t want me
I wouldn’t want myself either.

Do you still want me?

I wrote this when I was going through a tough time in life. It was one of those moments where I didn’t understand why anyone would want to be around me because I sure as hell knew that if I had a choice I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near me. You know that odd feeling where you feel like you aren’t the owner of your kingdom, where your body and mind aren’t tuned. That’s what I felt. At one point I hated myself and looking into the mirror made me question God. If He is perfect why would he create such a flaw? I feel like I’ve done so much damage to my own self that now I have to heal myself piece by piece and that’s hard. Very hard…

Poetry book: Curing My Venom

5 thoughts on “Do you still want me?

  1. It is hard, but the fact that you want to heal is the first step and I know you can do it. Otherwise you wouldn’t be blogging about it. There are so many out in the world who share your pain and understand.

    Liked by 2 people

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