I sat on the ground
with my broken pieces
Blood was dripping from the sky
and Allah was watching me cry.
Tears were slowly streaming
and the winds were screaming.
The mountain I was trying to climb
to reach the heavens of desire and love
broke into pieces and I fell from above.
I hit myself so hard that I couldn’t feel my ache
was I that broken that it was impossible for me to break.
I was so alone that pain left me numb
I curled into a ball and waited for death to come
but it wasn’t death, pain, or light that found me all alone
it was an enemy who promised to bring me back home.
It was Satan who came to me wearing a vest of hope.
He sat by my side and gently held my hand,
“I’ve come to help you rise because I know no one will understand.”
The devil gave me his word and made me sit upright
the world is too selfish my love it doesn’t deserve your light.
“Come, we’re both fallen angels what do you say
hold my hand and we’ll make everyone pay.
The world does not deserve your mercy let’s tear everything apart
I will burn down the world just tell me where to start.
These so called people, they aren’t your friends
life is unfair so let’s make amends.
You took the right route, yet you lost the game
people have walked over you, so you do the same.
You were pushed down and no one came to your aid
It’s your time now, so take this blade.
Do what you want so you could go higher
burn down everything and do what you desire.
Victory won’t come to you
you’ll have to snatch it from someone else at every turn
let’s be partners and we’ll watch the world burn.
What’s a little hell compared to the hell you’re going through?
come to the dark side, let’s see what you can do.”
The words sounded so good.
Maybe I shouldn’t.
Maybe I should. “Do it,” a voice had echoed
“Don’t you dare,” another had said.
The battle I was fighting was taking place in my head.
There were bombs and explosions taking place within
and there was no one I could tell
people would say I was a sinner
and they would threaten me with hell.
How could I rise when I was drowning in myself
everyone threw judgments but no one would come and help.
Maybe he was right
if I was in darkness why should someone else be in light.
I didn’t understand.
what was the point of being righteous and just
if everyone else in the world was filled with hate and lust.
Everyone around me was living in a beautiful lie
if everyone was cheating then why shouldn’t I.
It was my turn to take
I was tired of giving
why did I have to be a saint
when everyone else was sinning.
“Because,” my Lord said.
“I made you different don’t be like the rest.
Ruining a life is easy but giving hope is hard
take the easier path and you’ll lose who you are.
I made you a leader yet you’re giving in to another voice
you were kind and just, because it was your choice.
Not because you had to prove anything to the people around
you can’t sink the world just because you’re about to drown.
The world can do whatever it wants
but don’t let it corrupt your response.
You’re brave, how can you let a fall dictate your way.
Iblees doesn’t care, he just wants to rip you apart
this crusade you’re fighting is taking place in your heart.
Being good has nothing to do with getting something in return
you, my aching soul of clay have so much to learn.
I know you’re confused and so badly torn
but this fall of yours is giving you another chance to be reborn.”
Smiling my Rab said, “I’m the one who pushed you
and this you should’ve known.
If I created you
do you really think I would leave you all alone.”
Poetry Book: Curing My Venom