Parenting done right

Why don’t parents understand that in their desires for their kids to be something great, they’re ruining them? That in their wants, their children are getting trampled and damaged.

I’ve seen too many children sacrifice their mental health just for the sake of their parents. I’ve seen friends cry on school staircases because they felt like disappointments. I’ve had so many friends cry on my shoulders because I was the only form of comfort they had. What I didn’t understand was why did I have to be someone else’s comfort when I myself was a volcano waiting to erupt.

I don’t understand what is the point of sacrificing one’s very existence to give life to someone else. Isn’t that mental suicide. Why ruin your life just to make sure someone else is satisfied?

It’s like you’re willing to give up your freedom just because you’re scared of a war, which will erupt regardless of the appeasement. The British did that with Adolf Hitler. They gave him what he wanted, and he still opted for more. Sometimes some things are just inevitable. You cannot stall certain things just because you want them to stop. You can avoid a war for as long as you like, but one day it will consume you. So, might as well pick up your sword and charge.

Maybe when you don’t have a choice, you tend to choose between wars that will cause the least amount of damage and in this case, the self-damage that is caused has lesser destruction compared to the outer war.

It’s better and easier to keep everything inside, nod your head, and smile than to explain the destruction and eruptions going on inside.

But my point is parents need to understand that their children aren’t made of clay. They can’t just alter their children the way they want them to. They’ll ruin the beauty that nature has bestowed upon them.

It’s like forcing a plant to grow in a certain way, with certain nutrients, under certain circumstances, like an experiment and then complaining that the plant is ruined. You can’t force an apple tree to grow into a mango tree and you can’t force a mango tree to give lemons.

Every child is special and instead of altering these children, it’s time to accept them for who they are.

Einstein once said, “Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

Everyone is a genius in their own unique way. There’s no point of forcing uniqueness into people, you’ll only damage them. Let things take their own course. Let people grow on their own. Let them mend with their own antidotes. Let them search for their own cures. Let them heal however they can. Just be supportive. Don’t push your children away because they aren’t what you wanted them to be. Teach your kids to be courageous but kind. Strong but courteous. Let them grow without expectations. Cherish them so they could cherish existence. It’s hard to break the cycle, but a little effort can save generations.

Photo by O1234567890 from Pexels


26 thoughts on “Parenting done right

  1. I think most parents don’t even realize that they are forcing their own hidden desires on their kids. Specially Asian parents where parents don’t like having open dialogue with kids regarding their careers. Very well written article.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. The Mr. Rogers movie was so insightful. I wish we had him when I was a child. One quote from the movie that I think about a lot is “You don’t have to do something spectacular in order to be loved”.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. To me the role of parents lay in discovering what skills their children have and help them hone those as the young mind yet learns and most likely doesn’t know what is needed to make a progress, a great topic🙈 thank you so much for sharing 💖

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Having a role model and forcing their dreams and desires on their children are two different things. I agree parents need to set rules and standards for their children for a better upbringing…

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This is way too true. I’m sad you live with it.
    Something I’m trying to learn is that my life is mine not my parents, though of course there is the balance for I don’t want to hurt them.
    Often parents can’t differentiate especially if they’re not completely healthy or secure. Because they’ve devoted their lives to their children.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I read this post and found it interesting in that children are being pushed beyond their smart phones by parents. I wish that my up bringing would have turned out better sooner when I was at home and still young. I did get the education I wanted through out my life time. I have a goal to finish a BA off before the end grabs me.

    Great writing with thoughts for all of us to wonder about.

    Liked by 1 person

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